^MeRry ChRistMas^

It's Christmas Day again. This year's Christmas is busy and lonely. I am still single, available and lonely after all this while....same as the Christmas last year. But the difference this, this year's Christmas had added some hatred and disppointment. Why cant poeple just do what they had promised? Why people will keep their promise from some small little thing?

Experience and lesson taught me that, do not anyhow put high expectation on a person unless you really know that person well. Some times I really do not understand how come a person can forget what they suppose to do or choose not to do some thing that is important because of some thing that is not important? It's ridiculous!!! It's our responsibility to do what he had promised. How are people going to believe us or give us important task if we are irresponsible?

This year's Christmas is busy as well. We went for many places to carol such as Yatch Club, Park Hotel, Bugis Junction, Sentosa.... It's fun! I knew lots of friend through choir camp and caroling session. It's very obvious that every 1's relationship had became better and better. And it's fun to "anyhow sing" while we are walking to MRT station after caroling session.

Although it's quite tiring, shoulder and leg quite pain, but i still enjoy it. I enjoy when see people smiling and sing along with us. Haha,quite pity Feng Xia and Chin Yuan when teaching us cause we are always out of tune. I will never forgot how Chin Yuan looks when we are out of tune. Thanks for Alicia's help as well,haha... Here ar some pictures during caroling session....

While caroling in Bugis Junction

After caroling in Bugis. ^Cheeze....^

In Carefour,Suntec

We are so "pro" right?

We wish you a Merry Christmas,we wish you a Merry Christmas......

Something interesting!!!

无聊，真得无聊！
从来没有见过这样的情侣。
半夜夜谈无所谓，
可是需要“糖沾豆”到带着耳机睡吗？
原因是可以听对方snoring 的声音？
Ridiculous!!!

爱情真的是那么的特别？
还是。。。erm。。。无聊？
我也不晓得。
或许有一天，
我会亲身体验吧！
晚安/早安咯！！

空虚

问世间情为何物,直教人生死相许?

近来时常听到这一句话。这一句话在港剧《神雕侠侣》中时常听见。杨过身世坎坷，可是我觉得最可怜的，莫过于是李莫愁。虽然李莫愁杀人无数，可是这也是因为受过的创伤而导致如此的局面。

有时候会有些羡慕李莫愁，至少还可以把自己的悲哀，憎恨，嫉妒而发泄出来。心中的空虚，哀愁以及愤怒，会有人明白吗？近来做许多事情都不能专心。心中还是一直想着一些事情，一些曾听过，也令我感到懊恼的话。为什么我会把这些东西看得那么重呢？难道我真的到了不能自拔的地步吗？

鼎晟啊鼎晟，你几时变得那么傻？我时常都在问着这一个问题，可是就是想不出答案。我明知道[它]是不会为了我而付出的，可是为什么还是傻傻的期盼呢？不管我怎么等，结果都还是一样。别人时常说付出也是幸福的，可是为什么我一点都不感到幸福？当你受到某个限度的创伤的时候，你就会发觉，盲目的付出是愚蠢的。

在绝望中，在迷茫中，在彷徨中，在懊恼中，我发觉本来的自己已经消失了。我不知道还能从那里找到原本的自己。每当想起这些事情个时候，心中都会感到一些莫名奇妙的寒意。有时真地感到很冷，很冷。可是又有谁会让我感到温暖呢？

一路走来都不容易，还以为能熬过去，可是却发觉自己还是老样子，还没学会怎么把一切都给忘记。朋友时常都叫我不要去想，不要去理会，可是我做得到吗？我能够把[它]给忘了吗？

孤独

“近来好吗？”
“还不是老样子，和以前没什么分别。”

“还在为以前的事而烦燥吗？”
“算是吧。有时，心情还蛮低落的。真的不知如何要把心中的话说出来。有时觉得很辛苦，因为总是喜欢带着面具面对身边的每一个人。要等到几时我才能把真正的自己展现出来啊？许多人都觉得我很开朗，有稚气，喜欢笑。可是谁又会晓得我内心有多么的冷呢？”

“你是真么了？劝过你多少次？还痛不够吗？”
“你以为能那么容易忘记吗？真的像你想像中那么容易放手吗？如果真的事那么容易的话，我早就做到了，何必等到今时今日呢？我也很想把一切都抛开啊。可是每当想起[HP事件]就会令我心碎，伤心，甚至掉泪。为什么快乐的不会是我呢？我也不知为什么自己会变得那么笨，明知会被伤害，还要傻傻的闯过去。我知道痛，可是就是不甘心。”

“是你自己选的啊，为什么要怨天尤人？”
“我不懂，我不知道，不要问我！有时我真得很想埋怨上天为什么要让我承受这样的痛。这么多年了，为什么不能让我有脱离的时候？为什么不能让我享有我要的成果？想着想着，看着看着，心里真的好不舒服哦。虽然这不是第一次受伤，可是不知为什么就是习惯不了，还不能承受这种痛。”

“不要再这样折磨自己好吗？不要再让自己受伤好吗？你这样子不辛苦吗？”
“辛苦，当然辛苦。可是我又能做些什么呢？我就是不能把[它]给忘记啊，我就是做不到！”

“够了，够了！！不要再这样子好吗？你身边还有很多关心你的人，不要让他们伤心好吗？”
“不！！我就是放不了手。明知不可能，可是我就是不甘心。为什么从小到大我忠是要承受一些我不喜欢的东西，我不想要的东西？小时甚至到今天，被人嘲笑，被人看扁都已经受够了，可是为什么到今时今日还要再受这样的打击？我就是不甘心！！我就是不想放手！！”

“被人嘲笑？那是因为你自己的行为是到别人如此对你啊”
“不！！我没有的选，这就是我！我从小到大就是如此啊。如果有的选，你认为我会选折要让自己走这样的路吗？这是我想的吗？为什么是周围的人就是不能了解我？心在痛的时候谁又会理会我？”

“不要再想了，好吗？慢慢把它忘记，好吗？”
“不能！！ 我就是做不到。我尝试了很久啊，我也等了很久啊，可是我就是做不到。你知道孤独的路有多难走吗？我的心就是要往哪儿去。我就是忘不了啊，我就是放不下啊。我嫉妒，我不开心，我就是不想这样就放手！！”

“算了，怎么说你都听不进的。竟然你选折了这条路，为什么还要埋怨别人？”
“我不懂，不要问我！！”

“不要再这样子了，好吗？你已经知到结果是如何，为什么还要苦苦追求下去？不可以乖乖得让自己好过点吗？不可以对自己好一点吗？你问问你自己，你哭过多少次？你痛过多少次，你烦过多少次？这还不够吗？还要这样吗？”
“。。。。。”

COuSin's WeDding

On 1st of December was my cousin's wedding. Luckily my last paper is on 28th of November, so I can attend her wedding. On 30th of November, we went her house for buffet dinner and start helping her to prepare some of the necessity that she need on the next day.

Due to the reason that most of my cousin's sister friends are in Singapore and there are not much female "not-yet-marry" relatives, so, some of the handsome guy like us also have to help my cousin to be 姐妹 on 1st of December.

On the next day, we went to cousin's house early in the morning to prepare some of the materials that we need to "play" those 兄弟. It was kinda interesting,haha... They have to push up, eat the weird food that we had prepared, and do some weird stuff before they can enter to my cousin's room. Of course, the most interesting part is bargaining the ang pau that they gave.

That night we had wedding dinner ar Concourt Hotel. The flow was smooth, every thing was fine, the food are nice and of course the bride was pretty. I felt happy that my cousin was smiling happily whole night. Best wishes to both of you lo. =)

secocok right?

My Parents

The "Brotherhood"

My cousin and me =)

^YuhoO^

Finally, exam overed....

Last month was a stressful month due to the final exam, ECA stuffs and some personal problems. Some of my friends said that I am acting weird in the exam period. Ya, I admit it. Some times, I don feel like seeing and one or talking to anyone. Haha...who does'nt actign weird during exam, I think the "whole world" are acting weird that moment.

The "war" is overed. What about the result? I am kinda worry about my exam result this time. I had no confidence in most of my paper. Hopefully the result will not disappoint me. =)

Went back home for 4 days right after exam,yippee.... miss my family so much, of course, miss KL's food as well. Although went back home not long, but wtill enjoy it alot. Now I am back to Singapore again for choir camp and caroling... Hope that I can go back home again lo...