Life is kinda stressful recently due to the final examinations are driving near. Every day is still the same. Slack and watch movie for the whole afternoon and start studying from evening till late at night. There are a lot of stuffs and equations to remember.
Econometrics is really killing me. I hate of maths, hate of equations, hate of statistics. But still cant help it, no matter what, I still need to work hard to get better result. Realising that there are still a lot of stuffs that we learned in econometrics that I did not understand. I don not espect much from it, just hope that I can pass this subject. At leaast, PASS.
International trade is kinda confusing. I am rivising chapter 3. There are lots of stuffs and equations turning around here and there, it really make my brain turning round and round at the same time as well. Notes are long, and of course, boring.
Money and Banking are another tough subject as well. Starting of the semester, it is still OK. But starting from the middle of the semester, it became more and more tough. Couldn;t understand it well due to the messy notes and a "not so presentable" lecturer.
Of course, my "personal life" still as messy as usual. Some times, I really feel like crying and thorw out all the things that is struggling me deep in my heart. But, just not understand why I couldn's do so. Are there still many things that I am worry about? Or, I just wan to act strong?
I miss the life before the semester start. I miss the holiday. Miss the day that I spend with my buddies, miss the FOC, and of course miss the "jalan jalan cari makan" session. Life was just nice at that moment. But, we stil need to move on and face what is ahead of us right? Hopefully I can pass all of my subjects this semester. Thanks to papa and mama who are always caring enough. Miss you guys a lot. Cant wait to see you guys...
=Stress=
Dreamz
There is a "dream" that always playing and playing in my mind...
I have been waiting years and years...since young until today, I am dreaming and waiting for this dream to come true.
But life is not as easy as what I think...There are many disappointment and sadness that always happen around us....
Since young, many people thought that I am cheerful and always out-going. But, do they know what I think and how I feel deep inside my heart??
Do they know that how many disappointment and hardnesship that I had gone through?
How long shall I wait some more to see the sunshine that I always dreaming of?
Will my dream come true?
无奈
站得太久了站得腿也麻了，
哭得太久了哭得眼睛肿了，
我不知道为什么一切会变成这样，
连晴朗的天空也突然的下起雨来了。
近来时常下雨，也时常挎着大风，我的心情也像风雨一样，起落不定。有时大雨，有是小雨，有是挎风，有是乌云密布。就连我自己，都摸不清楚自己要些什么。人家眼前理智，不易受风雨摆布的我，已消失了。不，我从来就没有理智过，我只是带着面具来面对身边所有的人。我并不是人家眼中那么的坚强，其实，我内心还有很多脆弱的一面。
为什么这两年的这个时候都会发生一些大同小异而又伤得我最痛的事情？我不想再去支撑下去，也不想苦苦的等待。可是每当我有这个想法的时候，心中却有一些莫名其妙的不甘。我不甘心就这样放手，我不甘心就这样把之前的耕耘铲除掉。
有时心中有很多矛盾。同样的路已走了很多遍，看过了同样的风景，领悟过同样的孤单，经历过同样的结果，为什么我还是要一而再，再而三的走同样的路？这些问题我也问过自己好多遍。答案也多的是。可是内心却坚决要走下去，内心也一直盼望着不同的结果。
感谢好友的慰问以及鼓励。可是很想告诉你们，你们是不会明白我有多么的无奈的。虽然时常和TRIPLET说心事，可是很多时候会发现，他们也不是那么了解我。
我到底能够做些什么呢？希望我能什么都不想，安心应付考试，可是，我能做到吗？