Things are changing, every one is also changing, except me, I am still stepping on the same ground.

Every one already proceed to chase for something they want, but I am still staying here and waiting for things to happen. Looking at the past, I realised that I am doing the same thing over and over again without caring whether it is worth waiting or not.

I do not blame GOD for that, indeed, I thank HIM for fulfilling all the other things that I need in life. Going through all these, I thought I will use to it, and no longer have any feeling on it. However, I realised that the pain is still in me, deep inside my heart.

I am trying to be faithful, yet some times, the same question will still pop out from my mind. "Since that YOU know everything that happened in the world, why do you still want me to suffer in this way?" I know I shouldn't question HIM this way, because I was the one who chose this path.

I was some one who are faithful, some one who love HIM no matter what happens. However, I realise that my relationship with HIM have became far apart these years. I can no longer find back the feeling I used to have. Questions and quesntions a;ways pop up from my mind. Pain, disappointment and hatred stand in between HIM and me.

Not only that, indeed pain, disappointment and hatred also brought me apart from my friends. I used to be some one who are bubly, friendly and will definitely wave to some one when I saw that person even I am not close to that person. But lately, I chose to avoid. Although some times I saw some one who I know or I work with, when I saw that person coming from far, I chose to avoid that person by walking another or seeing other things and act that I never saw that person. Why things can change so much and so fast? Am I real to myself? Which 1 is my real character?

I am no longer what I used to be, I have been hiding and acting....hiding and acting....