Human beings are weird. Some times, we might willing to sacrifice every thing, just hoping for something that we know it will not happen. Some times, we might even losing ourselves, our own selves.

I have been hoping, praying and waiting. Some times, I don't know what I really want. I have been acting strange, not being myself, and doing things that I am not suppose to do. I was the person who care for people, by people's side when they are in trouble. But lately, I chose to be selfish, I chose to protect myself more, I chose to love myself more. There is always this thought come to my mind: There are no one there for me when I am in pain, why would I be the person who always care for others? I shall just love myself more. Yeah, I know I'm bad.

I have no one to talk to, or, I would say, I have no one that I am willing to share my thought. I was some one that people looking up to, I was some one that people always trust, I don't want people to know about something that is bad about me. Yeah, I know that I am being fake for quite some times, and acting in front of people.

People always think that I am some one who are out going, happy and cheerful. But actually, there are something deep inside my heart that feels bad, sad and hopeless. Am I still the Teng Seng that I used to be? I doubt so... I seriously doubt so.

Thinking back, I wasn't the person who like to tease people, I wasn't the person who are full of sarcastism, I wasn't the person who will play some dirty trick. I used to be the person who always get bullied, the person who people always looked down at, the person who people always laugh at. Slowly I realised, the person I can trust the most is my own self. I must stand up to protect and to defend myself. Did all these changed me into some one different today?

Hmm, I guess I am emo-ing...AGAIN...